Who am I?
I guess the answer to that question is pretty simple. I am 23 year old male who is married to the most beautiful woman in the world. We have a home, a car, my wife is working for her dream company and I enjoy my school very much. I belong to the race of humans, called homo sapiens. But is it that simple?
My life was not formed by magic but by miracle. I truly am a creation but if the essence of life is traced all the way back to its beginning it surely had to have a beginning and that beginning is a great miracle followed by chains of more miracles. So, perhaps I am not just a male. Perhaps I am something more, maybe something much more. In fact, I am a born again Christian. The same Spirit that lived in Jesus lives in me and through His Spirit I can do the same miracles as He did 2000 years ago. But I am not the only one. I share the same spirit with millions of other Christians and together we form one team, one body, the body of Christ. How majestic is that to be part of the body of Christ himself? How can that be explained differently than as a miracle? I certainly am a miracle.
But, without Christ living in me, who am I? I have not bin in a very close relationship with God for about 1.5 years. A lot of things have happened in the last 3 years or so. 23rd of January 2005 Marisa and I started courting in a Bible college. I was at the very top of my spiritual life and had many good months to come. As time passed by other worldly things started to take more and more time of my life and I stopped giving God as much time as before. I stopped being as disciplined in my walk with God and my deep prayers became fewer and fewer. Today I feel kind of embarrassed talking to Him because it is like talking to an old friend and when you talk to and old friend you don't really know what to say and just keep delaying the "catch-up" conversation. The Spirit really works like a tree. If it does not get water and nutrition in a long time it starts to wilt, and what is a human body without God's Spirit? Nothing. Without God there is no purpose. Everything comes to an end but with God there is no end.
So, who am I? I am not sure. I am undoubtedly a Christian because He lives in me and everything I believe in is based on God's Word but am I a true follower of Christ? Lacking devotional time and deep consistent prayer I can not enter to the Most Holy place of His heart and what should be more desirable than dwelling there at all times? Nothing is as fulfilling to me as being in a very deep prayer where I feel like I can almost touch Him. Have I bin striving to get there lately? No.
So, what is the conclusion? Empty of God, everything I am is meaningless. Full of God, I am full of meaning.
My life was not formed by magic but by miracle. I truly am a creation but if the essence of life is traced all the way back to its beginning it surely had to have a beginning and that beginning is a great miracle followed by chains of more miracles. So, perhaps I am not just a male. Perhaps I am something more, maybe something much more. In fact, I am a born again Christian. The same Spirit that lived in Jesus lives in me and through His Spirit I can do the same miracles as He did 2000 years ago. But I am not the only one. I share the same spirit with millions of other Christians and together we form one team, one body, the body of Christ. How majestic is that to be part of the body of Christ himself? How can that be explained differently than as a miracle? I certainly am a miracle.
But, without Christ living in me, who am I? I have not bin in a very close relationship with God for about 1.5 years. A lot of things have happened in the last 3 years or so. 23rd of January 2005 Marisa and I started courting in a Bible college. I was at the very top of my spiritual life and had many good months to come. As time passed by other worldly things started to take more and more time of my life and I stopped giving God as much time as before. I stopped being as disciplined in my walk with God and my deep prayers became fewer and fewer. Today I feel kind of embarrassed talking to Him because it is like talking to an old friend and when you talk to and old friend you don't really know what to say and just keep delaying the "catch-up" conversation. The Spirit really works like a tree. If it does not get water and nutrition in a long time it starts to wilt, and what is a human body without God's Spirit? Nothing. Without God there is no purpose. Everything comes to an end but with God there is no end.
So, who am I? I am not sure. I am undoubtedly a Christian because He lives in me and everything I believe in is based on God's Word but am I a true follower of Christ? Lacking devotional time and deep consistent prayer I can not enter to the Most Holy place of His heart and what should be more desirable than dwelling there at all times? Nothing is as fulfilling to me as being in a very deep prayer where I feel like I can almost touch Him. Have I bin striving to get there lately? No.
So, what is the conclusion? Empty of God, everything I am is meaningless. Full of God, I am full of meaning.
posted by Jón Magnús at 03:04
8 Comments:
Hm... var eg ad skrifa thetta? Eda last thu bara hugsanir minar?
Hvad vard um brodur minn sem hafdi nanast enga tilfinningu fyrir og ordaforda i ensku?!! Jaher, thad maetti halda ad tu vaerir ordinn enskur ...
Olof Inger.
Takk, ég fékk ágætis æfingu í að skrifa ensku áður en ég gifti mig. Við Marisa skrifuðumst á frekar mikið en ég held að ég hafi lært jafnvel meira á því að skrifast á við foreldra hennar. Þá reyndi maður að passa sig vel á málfarinu. Orðaforðinn minn er samt bara frekar basic. Ég kann engin flókin orð.
Það eru ekki flóknu orðin sem skipta máli heldur að geta tjáð sig frjálslega. Þú kannt líka flóknari orð en meðal maðurinn.
Vonandi hefurðu það gott. Sakna þín.
Jon that was so beautifully written and so beautifully thought out, thanks for sharing. I'm glad you're back to blogging :D
blogs seem a little quieter lately, but I still love them, I'm gald you're back in the game.
Thanks mom. Let's see how my bloging stamina will be this time ;)
JonM
I sadly always aware of the emptyness that I hold within myself. Which can only be filled with the pursuit of God and his purpose. Not that I wish to be in this place. However, I know that God said come to the fountain and drink of living water and you will not thirst again. As empty as we may feel it is so much better then the emptiness of those who have never known the love of God. God is us even at our worst. He is the best of us. I hope that makes sense.
Thank you Courtney (hope I spelled your name right). That makes a lot of sense and is really encouraging. Especially the sentence
"As empty as we may feel it is so much better then the emptiness of those who have never known the love of God."
At least I know whom to turn to. Just thanks again Courtney.
-JonM
i think ( and this is me) you can never be far from god. the spirit of god can never leave you, because you and 'it' are on in the same. if you look closely, you will see the emptiness you feel might just be the weight you are putting on christian actions, like prayer or reading the bible. if you take your own fear out of the equation (because, after all, perfect love drives out ALL fear). and you look at your fulfillment as a inward choice rather than an something outward that happens to you, it gets a lot more simple. YOU ARE CREATED, and that is fullness in and of itself. you can't go backwards on that. so think about it... just as you are always.. you. god is always ALWAYS with you.
Post a Comment
<< Home